The Essentials With Dan Pelosi: Carrot Cake, Ina Garten and Comfort Cooking

Dan “Grossy” Pelosi is hardly your typical culinary star. He doesn’t run a Michelin-starred dining room, and he isn’t trying to. Instead, the affable, design-minded tastemaker has carved out a space all his own—one that starts (and ends) around his upstate New York kitchen table. Best known to his legion of fans simply as “Grossy”—a nickname inspired by Drew Barrymore’s endearingly unconventional character in Never Been Kissed that perfectly captures his own approach to life and cooking—Pelosi first won hearts online with humor-laced cooking tutorials, big-family-style gatherings and a refreshingly unpretentious approach to entertaining. If you’re worried your meatballs aren’t as photogenic as his, he’ll ask if you still ate them—and then reassure you that’s all that truly matters.

Despite thriving in corporate America as a creative director for fashion brands, Pelosi always gravitated toward his kitchen, which he calls his “home base—where I can be creative, connect with loved ones, and put a stamp of personality on everything.” For years, cooking and hosting remained a weekend side hustle, until a once-in-a-lifetime event—the pandemic—catapulted him into an entirely new career. “I realized this was my time to offer comfort to anyone stuck at home, feeling lost or intimidated by the whole notion of ‘cooking.’ It turned out my superpower—loving my own home a bit too much—was suddenly exactly what others needed,” he tells Observer.

An unabashed homebody, Pelosi relished being in his own space during the stay-at-home mandates, turning his personal sanctuary into a collective comfort zone for thousands of followers seeking solace and community. That sense of connection deepened on Instagram, where he didn’t just post photos, but also delivered daily slices of real life. “Instagram stories let me be up-close and personal; I posted a million times a day,” he says. “People told me it became their safe space, a bright spot in an otherwise tough time. And as my following grew, I wanted a new channel—somewhere we could deepen the conversation.” The solution was Grossy World, an evolving community he envisions as a one-stop hub for joyful recipes, hosting tips, and the “you do you” energy that defines his work. “Eventually, I want to build it into an interactive platform,” he adds, “because I see how much my followers want to connect not just with me, but with each other.”

That desire to create gathering spaces, both virtual and physical, led Pelosi to purchase an 1850s home in Hillsdale, New York in July 2023. Though he and his boyfriend Gus split their time between upstate and his Brooklyn apartment, the Hudson Valley house arrived into their lives with a hefty dash of serendipity. “The previous owner left a ten-foot antique farm table that anchored itself as the heart of the house,” he notes. “The lily of the valley in the yard—my late grandmother’s favorite flower—and the vintage rainbow glasses on my shelves were little winks from the universe telling me this was going to be a place to gather, cook and create.” He brings that same effortless confidence to his recipes. “If something feels like it’s naturally meant to be, I lean into it. I’ll see fresh basil at the farmers’ market, and that becomes pesto in a meatball recipe. It’s unforced. It’s just life guiding me toward what should happen next.”

Renovating the historic property uncovered bigger hurdles—namely, a rotting kitchen addition that had to be torn down. Rather than balk, Pelosi embraced the chance to start anew. “I found myself with a blank canvas to create the kitchen of my dreams,” he says. “My cooking style is about comfort, color and heritage, so it was important to reflect that in the design. I wanted open shelving for my massive collection of bowls, platters and serveware—because plating is part of the fun. I’m not shy about a bold hue or a well-placed vintage find; it’s a real reflection of how I live.” That unapologetic approach extends to family heirlooms, including a cozy corner seat inherited from his grandfather. “That chair used to sit in my grandparents’ house for decades—my 102-year-old grandpa ‘Bimpy’ is basically the star of my entire online presence,” Pelosi says with a laugh. “I had it reupholstered so it’s got new life, but it still has his spirit. You can imagine him telling a joke there, because Bimpy’s never met a story he didn’t want to share.”

Family has always been central to Pelosi’s story, dating back to childhood dinners shared with a rotating cast of aunts, uncles and cousins. “I was so fortunate to grow up in a home where dinner was family time, every night,” he says. “On weekends, we’d gather with extended relatives. As my Uncle Tony would say in Italian, a tavola non si invecchia—no one grows old at the table. When you’re together, time stops. I live by that idea.”

Perhaps that’s why his most cherished family recipe comes from his mom’s playful approach to time (and labor) in the kitchen—a carrot cake made with jarred carrot baby food. “[It] sounds a little odd until you taste it,” he admits. “It brings crazy moisture and flavor. My mother would whip this cake up, and it stayed fresh in the fridge for days. Total busy-mom hack.”

His debut cookbook, Let’s Eat: 101 Recipes to Fill Your Heart and Home, soared onto The New York Times bestseller list, a testament to Pelosi’s gift for approachable, heartfelt meals. “It’s basically a warm hug of home cooking, sharing both comfort and connection with my nearest and dearest Italian-American recipes,” he says. While Pelosi hints there’s more in the pipeline—details he’s not yet ready to disclose—his culinary influence continues to expand through his regular recipe contributions to The New York Times Cooking section, where he’s been delighting readers since 2023 with hits like his viral pesto meatballs.

This growing platform has only strengthened Pelosi’s commitment to making cooking accessible to everyone. “Calling people in rather than calling them out is at the heart of what I do,” he says. “I want my followers to feel safe, empowered and ready to cook—no matter who they are or what their kitchen looks like. Eat, enjoy, share, repeat.” It’s a philosophy that has drawn countless fans to Pelosi’s uplifting, no-judgment approach. As his community grows, he promises to keep dishing up humor and imperfection in equal measure, ensuring that everyone feels welcome at his table. After all, as he sees it, a home-cooked meal doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be shared.

Pelosi sees food as a vehicle for storytelling: “My design roots are in brand storytelling—knowing how to translate a vision through color, texture and tone,” he says. “That’s basically what I do with my recipes and entertaining. Each dish has a color palette, a vibe and a story. Even when I’m just slathering sauce over pasta, I’m mindful of how I want people to feel when they see that photo or read that recipe. It’s about framing a moment so you almost taste it before picking up a fork.”

Inspired by Pelosi’s tradition of “showing people how he really lives,” Observer asked him to share a few of his current essentials—from the perfect weekly meal prep to the newly minted color crush brightening his home.